FUNFAIR

On Monday, Liza Megan Tal and I went to the Hampstead funfair that they have every year. I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed so hard my tummy hurt! My sister is a major wimp when it comes to fairground rides; she's the bag-holder and has been for the majority of her adult life - with the exception of someone taking pity and going on the kiddy train with her. So, to get her in the mood and her adrenaline pumping a bit we decided we'd take her on The Whip first, which is basically a circular booth with a bar over your lap that gets spun round, manually, by crazy fairground men who like to see people scream and cry with fear. It goes up and down as well.
All I could hear the whole time, whilst burying myself into my sister, was; "Fuck OFF! Fuuuckkk OFF!!! It never FUCKING STOPS!! Waaaahhhh!!!!! FUCK OFF!!!"
The fairground men obviously had no empathy towards four screaming girls.
Tal and I skipped the next ride, as it was an upside down one and I don't believe that I was built to defy gravity like that but soon enough we were on the Dodgems. Now, Tal is a good driver - she's been learning for long enough. She's also reasonably moral, so when we looked around and saw the majority of the other drivers were aged 5-10, Tal said outright; "I can't hit small children, I'll just aim for Liza and Megan" and I agreed with her, you can't ram into a 5 year old girl, not with her parents watching at least. As soon as that buzzer rang though, the story changed. Those tiny kids had it out for us! They were on a fucking mission to, if not kill, critically injure us which flipped a switch in Tal. From that point on, Tal made it her sole purpose in life to bring these babies down.