I had such a strange evening last night- the sister is super sick with some hallucinogenic tonsil related disease that has left her bed bound, shivering for an hour and then sweating the next. Whilst lying in bed stroking her hair, Rango on in the background, I was replying to a private message on Facebook and thought I'd go though all of the messages I'd saved - some were around 4 years old. So I was going through, laughing at most of them and deleting the pointless ones. Then I came across one from an ex-boy - and as I am a massive girl you can generally guess my what my thought train went like;
He was so sweet, maybe I was too harsh on him etc. HA. That only lasted so fucking long. Slowly but steadily as I sifted through the chain of messages I realised about 85% of it was pure argument;
You haven't spoken to me for a week - Sorry babes - Do you remember me?- Sorry babes.
It was actually strange as I've thought about all the ex-boys in the space of a week. One visited, one called me and the other popped up on my email. I guess it distracts for me for a couple of minutes every so often, but I've realised that that's ok - it's normal. I'm allowed to wish, want and regret.
I want to go swimming.
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